Movie Trailer reviews (April 20th)
- Apr 22, 2018
- 4 min read
Hey, so based on me being bored as hell, I'm guessing you're procrastinating too.
I've been looking at trailers, and I thought I'd make quick reviews of movie trailers. This is probably gonna be a weekly thing, because it's easily and kind of fun for me, which sadly means that this is most likely gonna be my first published post- even thought I've been working on several FOR SO GOD DAMN FU-
Anyway! I'm about to watch the trailers for all the movies on the 'opening this week' list on IMDB (source: https://www.imdb.com/movies-in-theaters/?ref_=nv_mv_inth_1 ) Some movies *cough* *cough* Infinity war *cought*, I won't watch when the trailer is on this list, because I want to watch it without any spoilers. But we'll burn that bridge when we get to it. For the sake of a thumb nail, and just to annoy future me, here's an inspirational picture that has nothing to do with anything on this page. Yay!
Hey-ho! Here we go:
I Feel Pretty
Okay so I made a few notes that I'm not gonna show cause hahaha!
This isn't my type of movie obviously. Looks pretty unoriginal to be honest. Fat jokes were, bad. General personality of a chick who hates her body figure, so hates that other girls feel the same about themselves by being a deuch ( I know I probably spelt that wrong), then BOOM! Final destination hit this gal and now she's confident and ready to face the world! That's right people, just get amnesia and you will be fine!
In my notes, I literally wrote 'what.' at this point.
So, my conclusion for this, based on the crappy trailer, was that it's exactly like that movie with Ryan Reynolds where everyone he sees looks like they to on the inside but, the exact opposite.
I want to make a note that it is late and I'm probably throwing some hate onto this movie based more on the fact that wine and the lack of sleep is affecting me, or that this movie just looks... baaaahd.
This will probably be the only review that looks like a review.
Super Troopers 2
Well, I didn't see the first one, but I'm just gonna try my best. You know what? Here's my notes:
Red rating (yay!)
Narration (okay?)
I love it. Dark humour.
Bad accents but I think thats the point (nay?)
good music.
are bears really that big!?
what the hell are they saying?
En.
Overall: Americans and Canadians have a summer party, and america wins. Yeah I don't understand either.
Traffik
First off, movie you are upsetting my spell check.
Had to re-watch the first 20 seconds cause I started daydreaming.
Noice visuals
DUDE FROM HOUSE!
Okay where's this going.
Deuchie white dude.
Ok. Ok I'm intrested. Girl's obviously being abused.
Ahh... they gonna steal her?
Yup.
FBI?
Maggie I will find you...
Overall: Good guy tries to treat good lady, but the white guys always have to screw it up. Also, the only time in a (horror? Thriller?) movie where the victims ACTUALLY CALL THE POLICE! YAS! They're gonna be useless as shit... aren't they?
Ghost Stories
I'm supposed to be doing an exam right now... Instead I'm dragging my name though the mud with what might be offensive reviews. Hopefully I will edit this. If I do, then delete this. No, delete all of this.
They're already taking the piss I can't.
Haha! They're from yorkshire too!
I'm loving this.
That the guy from Black mirror and fuck the world? Hey John/ Bilbo! This actually looks really good.
I'm into this.
Haha, this is great.
Okay, okay I'm loving this.
Overall: Yorkshire people are great. Nottin' bettah dan a bitah yorksha'!
The Devil and Father Amorth
Prior to watching this, I'm gonna try and remember I everything I can from watching supernatural, and being made to go to church until I was 6.
Documentary?
This is already weird.
Expect an exorcism?
Of course it's dangerous to be around somebody who can't control them self.
Overall: I'm good thanks.
Genesis
Is my battery about to run out? Shit one sec.
Okay! Lets continue.
Hell...?
Oh, poetry, noice.
Gruff voiced Narration is cool.
Getting a Last of us meets Hunger Games vibe.
That the guy from the Mommy movies? The weird brother?
HAHAHA ITS LIKE THAT RHINO VINE!
Well now morgan's out again.
IT IS THAT BROTHER I SWEAR!
Eden. Will. Fall. SPOILERS MATE!
Overall: I wouldn't pay to watch it, but I'd watch it. Looks alright.
Redoubtable
How the hell do you say that?
French? Noice!
Cool viosials
Hard. to. type. and . read!
Love the music!
Haha, camera gun.
Aww this is nice!
haha!
ahh the puns.
Overall: It's pretty fucking cute! I'd watch that with a dog and some ice cream.
Extra:
I'm trying to find the movie that inspired me to make this shit show one sec.
Wow this is already taking way too much effort to find.
FOUND IT FUCK!
Lost in Space
Oh lovely, adverts. Love those.
I... clicked to play an advert... not the movie halfway down the page... I need to go to bed.
Kids on a space ship.
Kids crash space ship.
Shows why you should just give them a cardboard box.
Cool butterfly!
Stranger things got weird...er
It's even got a Will.
Oooh! Adults!
Play catch with your friendly alien.
All the adults are just like, NOPE! and the kids don't give a crap.
Why are they allowed to leave the ship? Adults are adulting bad. (NO I DO NOT MEAN ADULTERY! SPELL CHECK! STOP!)
Strange lady, these people obviously don't care about each other.
Oh... gravity.
This tune sounds a lot like Jurassic park.
Overall:
ET...
...and catch.
Okay so that was my first try of that. Might do it again, might never do it again, might delete it and forget it ever happened, then re-do it thinking it had never been done. You thought I was gonna write again, again didn't you? I'm gonna get kicked off my college course cause of this... aren't I?
OH WELL!
Haha... I'm gonna just publish this now and I'm not gonna remember making this for about a week. Pranks on you future Twitchy! Aha!
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